Often, clients will give me their text messages to show the court what the other person has said to them.  These can be very helpful since anything you say can and will be used against you in court.  However, other than to stop putting things in writing that you don’t want shown around a court room, here is my other word of wisdom.  STOP saving your ex-spouse or the other parent of your child in your cell phone in a derogatory manner. 

I have seen the following and these are for example only:  “Witch”, “Evil”, their real name but with a poop emoji or a vomit face emoji, “Devil” or equally as bad their name but with their maiden name when the person has not retaken their maiden name.  It should be axiomatic that using “Witch” and “Devil” would be ill advised, but some might scoff at the maiden name issue and ask, “what is the big deal?”  Here is the reason why these types of saved names are not advisable.  First, it is passive aggressive.  And second, your kids will read your texts over your shoulder at some point, and they will see their parents name saved erroneously or in a derogatory manner.  While that might seem small to you as a parent, that behavior is harmful to kids.  It is a subtle but significant way that indicates a divide and disrespect between two parents.  Being a kid is hard enough in the best of circumstances.  Being a kid in a split household can be very hard.  But being a kid in a split household where the parents intentionally do or say things that show your hatred or disrespect to the other parent, you may be setting your child up with more hardships than you could ever imagine. 

While I am not a therapist, I see the hardship that family court places on everyone, including the children. The job of your family law attorney is to tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear.  This is one no one wants to hear but needs to hear.

At Potts, Shoemaker & Grossman, LLC, our attorneys are prepared to assist you in finding the best approach for your individual situation. To schedule a confidential consultation, contact us at (610) 840-2626.